Transitioning to Twins: The Pacifier

One of my goals in this process of getting ready for the twins is helping Scarlett grow up a little bit. She needs to be the big sister in the house, not another baby, and getting rid of the pacifier is no exception. I am by no means opposed to a pacifier. I think they serve a purpose, especially for teeny babies to learn to self-soothe. But there is no way I could keep up with three kids' pacifiers. That would be absurd. So it was time to get rid of Scarlett's pacifier.

When Scarlett was approaching her first birthday, I was determined to wean her from it. She really only took it while she was sleeping (nap time and at night), but it was a great way to relax her if we were traveling or having some kind of "off day."

And then I started justifying the pacifier -- "we can't get rid of it until after our trip," or "she needs it to fall asleep at Mom's Day Out." And then before I knew it she was 18 months old. At that point I knew it was definitely the time to take it away from her. But then I just continued with my justification -- we're traveling, she's sick, etc etc.

Sometime in the spring I got really confident and decided to poke a hole in the tip of each pacifier with a needle. I had read this would work great because the pacifier wouldn't have the same suction, and then she would lose interest. But that didn't happen. She still loved them.

We went to Florida the last week of April/first week of May when she was 22 months old. We had a lot of full and busy days at Disney World where she was generally out of control because of the lack of sleep, excitement, and the heat. So we used the pacifier A LOT to keep her calm.

She started requesting specific pacifiers. She referred to them by their colors, "pink one" or "blue one," and when she got upset she would come running to me and say "blue one!" She would ask for a nap at 9:30 a.m., which was really her way of asking to get her in crib to suck on her pacifiers because she knew she couldn't have them unless she was sleeping. It was time to get rid of them.

But Scarlett is one stubborn kid and she has a TEMPER. I just knew it was going to be a fight for days and I didn't know if I had the willpower to stick it out. Plus what if she refused to sleep without a pacifier? Mommy needs her nap too. But I also knew I couldn't have a toddler who was attached to her pacifier and newborn twins on my hands. No way was it happening.

So finally one morning I had the courage to fully snip the ends of her pacifiers. When she asked for one I would give it to her. She'd spit it out and hand it back to me. I asked her, "oh is it broken?" Soon she realized they were all broken and she totally lost her mind. She was mad, kicking and screaming, asking for her pacifiers. At nap time I put her to bed with the broken pacifiers and she didn't want them at all. She handed them to me and told me "broken." I told her if they're broken we should throw them away. So she did. And that was that.

Seriously. I had 22 months of fear and anxiety about this whole situation and that's all it took. She asked for them a couple times over the next couple of days, but nothing major. I would just say, "remember they were broken?" She cried for a couple weeks when she went to bed, but it wasn't more than 5-10 minutes.

And there's another checkmark on my To Do Before Twins list. Hooray!

A Girl and Her Cat

These two have a love/hate relationship.

Scarlett does most of the loving and Clarity does most of the hating.

But Clarity tolerates Scarlett more and more every day.

We mostly just feel sorry for the poor cat.

She has no idea what's coming.

A Tea Party with Clarity

Scarlett is obsessed with tea parties right now. OBSESSED. We pretend to drink air and eat plastic cake all day long around here. And of course she knew Clarity the cat would enjoy partaking as well.

First she brought Clarity her cup and saucer.

She correctly surmised that Clarity would enjoy her cat food more than plastic cake, so she scooped some out of her bowl to serve on a pink saucer.

Clarity wasn't eating as quickly as Scarlett would have liked, so she found it necessary to feed her out of her hand. Clarity actually ate a bite, which shocked me. 

Clarity is generally annoyed by Scarlett, but more than anything she's also pretty lazy. I'm starting to think she masterminded this whole plan to get somebody to feed her without having to get off the couch, and she knew Scarlett would do anything to win her love. It's a win-win for both of them!

What's in a Name?

Family pictures one year ago

People always ask me how we came up with the name Scarlett. When I introduce her, I generally get a very surprised "oohhh!" It catches people off guard, and I'm never sure if it's a good or bad reaction. I kind of expected this would be how people reacted when we chose the name, but I honestly felt like I wasn't the one making the choice. I liked the name, and loved the idea of it, but I wasn't sure if we were bold enough to have a kid named Scarlett. Ultimately, naming Scarlett was a very spiritual experience for me. Her little spirit knew exactly what she wanted to be called, and she let me know it. 

About a year before I got pregnant with Scarlett, my friend (who is incredibly spiritual and just KNOWS things) randomly said to me, "what do you think about the name Scarlett? I could see you with a daughter named Scarlett." I liked it but I thought Todd would never go for it. So imagine my surprise when I mentioned it to him and he said he really liked it. But then we thought that a first name ending with a "t" and a last name starting with a "t" would be hard to say, so we nixed it.

When it came down to actually choosing a name, the process was horrendous. I never thought I would marry someone as opinionated as I am. So we decided to look up the Social Security Administration's top 500 names from the previous year and each highlight the names we liked separately. We would then combine the lists, and whichever names were on both lists would comprise our final list. Why the top 500 names? Because 100 names is too narrow a pool, and 1000 is way too many. The names that are ranked 101-500 are generally common enough that you've heard them, but you don't know 10 people with that name. Names 501-1000 include the freaky names that you've never heard of, can't spell, and your kid will hate you for. 

So we had a solid list of 10-15 names, including some of my most favorite names that I've loved for years and years and years, like Clara and Anna. Scarlett was not on our list. We would try out different names for days or weeks at a time, and nothing felt right. I was so sad when I just couldn't call the baby Clara, it just didn't fit.

One day old

I was determined to have a name sooner rather than later -- I'll admit it, so I could get everything in her room monogrammed -- but I was also just so impatient and was ready to start calling her by her name. One night Todd said he didn't think the name we would choose was even on our list, and I about had an emotional breakdown. How was that even possible? We had combed every book and internet name website imaginable. 

Then one night we had some friends over for dinner and we were talking about how they named their kids. They asked what we were thinking. We told them all about our naming saga, and --there is some confusion as to who brought this up, whether it was Todd or one of our friends -- somebody mentioned the name Scarlett. We said we liked that name but it didn't really go with our last name. They were both like, no it sounds normal. And we looked at each other and we both just knew, that was her name. 

Roasting marshmallows on Veterans Day

Later that night I looked up the meaning of Scarlett on some baby name website, and the definition was "a vivacious woman." BAM. I got goose bumps. I knew it. It was exactly what I was looking for. I didn't want some name that meant something like, "loves the wind" or something absurd. I wanted something real and spunky and fun. 

Even then, when I would think about it later, I would think well maybe it wasn't quite right. I would think maybe we should keep looking. And then I would tell somebody what we were thinking -- hesitantly -- and I would get the biggest case of goosebumps you've ever seen. I knew I wasn't choosing her name, she was choosing her name. 

There is a lot of debate over the best way to name a kid -- some people choose a name before the baby is born, and some people don't believe they can name a kid until they meet it. All I know is that my girl is curious, incredibly determined, full of energy, and has a hot little temper. If that's not vivacious, I don't know what is.

5 on Friday

--ONE--

Remember Halloween when we were kids? Maybe you had a party at school to dress up for, but really Halloween night was the big event.

Halloween afternoon and 50 cent corn dogs at Sonic

Not anymore. The festivities started almost two weeks before Halloween at a friend's Halloween party. The week of Halloween was out of control. We went to two trunk or treats, the fall festival at MDO, had some friends over for pumpkin carving, went to the squadron adult Halloween party, and don't forget Halloween night itself. That doesn't count the squadron's kids Halloween party or the two Halloween-themed play groups we missed that week. I was so exhausted by Halloween night I couldn't even muster the energy to get into costume. I trick or treated in my sweats and a tshirt.

Nifty Fifties Fall Festival at MDO

Ward Trunk or Treat

Todd had to fly on Halloween night so I took Scarlett to two houses and then called it quits. She had just figured out that it was candy they were dropping into her bucket so she insisted on sitting in the middle of the road and eating it right there. She refused to walk to the next house and I was not in the mood for a fight, so we went home to watch Monsters, Inc. and pass out candy. It was actually pretty fun.

Off to trick or treat!

Adult squadron party

--TWO--

Scarlett hated her bows for the longest time. She could never leave them on for longer than 2 minutes. So imagine my surprise last week when she started asking for bows after she got dressed in the morning. 

She not only asks for her bows, but she insists on picking them out. 

And sometimes she needs more than one bow. Such a diva.

--THREE--

Last week we got Chinese food and this was Scarlett's fortune. I think it's a pretty good life lesson.

Be bold, brave and forthright and the bold, the brave and forthright will gather round you.

Perhaps proper punctuation was lost in the translation.

--FOUR--

I love these. A lot. I could eat the giant Costco bag in one sitting. There was safety in the fact that I couldn't get them anywhere in Altus. Then I happened upon them one day in the commissary. 

The temptation is just too much.

--FIVE--

I am in desperate need of a new camera, preferably point and shoot. My camera broke so I'm taking all my pictures on my phone. I've been reading reviews but let's be honest, I have no idea what any of the mumbo jumbo means. If you have a suggestion for a good point and shoot that takes decent movies and has wi-fi capability, let me know!

Fitness Woes

Remember how I lamented not having a gym with child care? Remember how I took Scarlett to the base gym and she lasted 15 minutes? 

So I thought I should try again. Maybe she would surprise me.

This was my view from my elliptical machine. 

Fun room right? Lots of big soft toys to climb on, jump on, or build with. There was a tv in the corner showing Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood. There were even two other little kids in the room to play with! 

And Scarlett stood right in front of me for 30 minutes crying her eyes out.

Okay, maybe I'm not being fair. After about 15 minutes she did stop crying and climbed on a some of the toys for a couple minutes. Then she came back to her post and cried some more.

So maybe tomorrow it will be better and she'll only cry for 25 minutes?

Eat, Awake, Sleep, Repeat

                 This morning Kelly's Korner is talking about advice for new moms. I am super Type A, so there's no way I was going into parenthood without a plan. What I found has worked for us, and many of my friends kids. It takes diligence, but it's so worth it in the end.

I have three words for you -- Eat, Awake, Sleep. 

Remember these words. Say them to yourself over and over again. 

Let them be your new mantra in life. 

Let me start at the beginning. I read On Becoming Babywise before Scarlett was born and it was the best thing I ever did. I discovered Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby after I had Scarlett and I loved it. 

I think the two books go hand in hand. They both emphasize the importance of sleep for your baby and how to sleep train your child from day one, including how to help them adjust to a feeding routine over time. I hate to use the word "schedule," I prefer "routine" because I think there's a little more flexibility in a routine. 

I like Babywise because it's got good information and it's an easy read. It just makes sense. However, I like the Baby Whisperer because her method is the same as Babywise except she gives more real life examples and it's a little more realistic to life. She emphasizes that every baby has it's own personality and temperament, and she teaches you how to tailor her method to your baby's. Also, Babywise advocates for crying it out, while Baby Whisperer does not. Personally, I think there's a time and a place for crying it out, but Babywise's approach seemed kind of vague so it stressed me out a little. 

There are plenty of critics of Babywise out there. I have heard that the very first edition of Babywise was more strict and people were turned off by it. Some people who followed Babywise back then were a little too rigid and only fed their babies at the exact time the book suggested, leading some babies to be dehydrated and malnourished. However, in the edition that I have, the authors say REPEATEDLY that if your baby is hungry, feed your baby! Even if it's only been an hour since it's last feeding. Use common sense and do what's best for your baby first, not what some book says.

Highlights from all the books that I think are the core of good sleep training:

1. Make sure baby is getting a full feeding from day 1. Keep waking him up if you have to. Time the feedings. Baby Connect can help with this.

2. Keep this routine -- Eat, Awake, Sleep. Keep baby awake as much as possible during a feeding, and have awake time after feeding. In the beginning the length of awake time will only be about the length of time the kid is awake to eat, but it will extend as baby gets older. This is super important so they don't learn to use eating as a prop to fall asleep.

3. People will say not to wake a sleeping baby. I totally disagree with this. I woke Scarlett up to eat all the time, especially in the beginning. It is super important to do in the first couple of months. If you don't wake him to eat, then his metabolism will never get on a solid routine. I also think this is important for maintaining a good milk supply. For the first 2 weeks at night, set your alarm for every 3 hours to get up and feed him. He will probably wake up on his own anyway, but if not at least you've got your alarm. After 2 weeks, you can sleep until the baby cries, but never go longer than 4-5 hours at night. At 7 weeks exactly, Scarlett slept through the night and has ever since. Babywise and Baby Whisperer will talk about the frequency of feedings and what is appropriate at certain stages of development in more detail.

I will also say this -- the first six weeks are hard when it comes to feeding and sleeping because they are growing so quickly so fast. There were times when I was feeding Scarlett every two hours and I thought I was failing at Babywise. But I powered through and then all of a sudden at six weeks it magically all came together. So even when they say "do this every three hours," it's more like every 2-3 hours and maybe even less than that, and that's ok. You have to be a little flexible with the routine in the beginning. 

Check out my other Babywise posts here and here. 

You can also read more about my love for Baby Connect here.

5 on Friday

--ONE--

I had a birthday! I am now 34! That is terrifying. We spent the weekend in St. Louis with some of our favorite people. The day of my birthday was Sunday, which is nice and blah at the same time. But we had delicious smoked meats and a birthday cake, followed by girl time with a couple of my besties and popcorn and Sister Wives. Success!

--TWO--

Remember this post? I got the beautiful cookie jar! Hoorah!

I came home from a Walmart trip to find Todd making gingersnaps to fill the cookie jar. 

Happy birthday to me!

--THREE--

I also got the greatest invention in kitchen appliances -- the Whirley Pop. With my 52" tv, Amazon Prime and Netflix, and delicious movie theater-style popcorn, I will never leave my house ever again.

--FOUR--

Happy Fall Y'all! Can you even read that banner? I don't think I can.

Over the last couple of months I've gotten more involved with the Altus Spouses Club on base. Last night was our monthly social, planned by yours truly. People decorated table centerpieces with a fall theme and then we voted for Best Theme and Best Decorated. As the party planner, I didn't want to compete, but I also didn't want to miss an opportunity to decorate. My original plan was to do a football table, but somebody else was already doing that, so I opted for Plan B. I have loads of pumpkins, so I created a pumpkin patch. I love my pumpkin with lights. It's always my favorite.

--FIVE--

Ahoy me hearties! Yesterday was also International Talk Like a Pirate Day! I never remember until halfway through the day, so I hurriedly tried to get pictures of Scarlett before naps. As always, the necklace was her favorite accessory. I tried to put the hook on her hand and she freaked out.

Yarr matey! She be walkin' t' plank!

What Scarlett Does for Fun, Shopping Cart Edition

Does your child do this?

Unfortunately I'm usually too busy trying to hold her down to get a picture of her trying to stand up and slide out of the buckle.

So then I let her do this:

But I never really thought about the fact that she's a climber. 

She outdid herself on our next trip to Target. She climbed up the side of the cart and fell flat on her head. It took her about .08 seconds to do it -- I know this because that is approximately the amount of time it takes me to put a box of shoes back on the shelf. 

There was a lot of panicking and freaking out, mostly from me. This is how Scarlett handled her time in the ER:

My mind was racing and I wanted to throw up. All she wanted to do was run. For the record, she's totally fine and that red bump was gone by morning. And I never want to take her to the store with me ever again.