Building Traditions in Military Life

Our first 4th of July together in 2006

If there's one thing that comes with military life, it's instability, which isn't exactly conducive to building lasting traditions. Even though we've been married for almost 7 years now, I don't think we've ever done the same thing two years in a row for any holiday. Sometimes Todd is home, sometimes he's deployed. And because we live so far from our closest friends and family, we always seem to be traveling over some holiday. This is probably one of the hardest aspects of military life, because I like to have established traditions, preferably in our own home now that we have children.

 July 4, 2011

Grilling his 4th of July hamburger in 2011

Our very favorite holiday is the 4th of July. There's a lot to love about it, but what we love the most is how carefree it can be. There is nothing worse than an over-programmed 4th. By the end of the day, you're hot and cranky and hate everyone around you.

I learned a long time ago that flexibility is key to military life (please note: me = notoriously inflexible and hates change). We can't get too attached to very specific activities with this lifestyle, but we have certainly been able to create our own holiday traditions by sticking to two rules: 1) lower our expectations, and 2) create traditions that can be done anywhere. We may not be able to go to a specific parade or watch a certain city's fireworks display, but the activities we love the most for the 4th of July are simple and easy to find anywhere we go.

Scarlett's first 4th of July in 2012

Two weeks old

Todd and I grew up doing different things for the 4th of July, so we are nostalgic for different aspects of the holiday. We've pared down our requirements for the day to what makes both of us happy -- Todd has to have a hamburger, I have to go to the pool, and we must see fireworks. And SOMEHOW, the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest has made it's way into the annual plan. I have no idea how it happened, but over the years it has become must see TV and I set my DVR every year so we don't miss it.

July 4, 2013

This will be our first 4th of July spent here at Altus AFB (even though we lived here a year ago, we were travelling). It's somewhat daunting to make plans when you have no idea what to expect (again, me = notoriously inflexible and also a serious planner). But I know we will participate in our traditions that we can do anywhere. We'll put out our flag, don our patriotic clothing, and enjoy the celebrations at church and on base. We will eat a hamburger at the pool and watch fireworks later that night. And just like that, we've done everything we want to do!

Happy 4th of July!

Eat, Awake, Sleep, Repeat

                 This morning Kelly's Korner is talking about advice for new moms. I am super Type A, so there's no way I was going into parenthood without a plan. What I found has worked for us, and many of my friends kids. It takes diligence, but it's so worth it in the end.

I have three words for you -- Eat, Awake, Sleep. 

Remember these words. Say them to yourself over and over again. 

Let them be your new mantra in life. 

Let me start at the beginning. I read On Becoming Babywise before Scarlett was born and it was the best thing I ever did. I discovered Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby after I had Scarlett and I loved it. 

I think the two books go hand in hand. They both emphasize the importance of sleep for your baby and how to sleep train your child from day one, including how to help them adjust to a feeding routine over time. I hate to use the word "schedule," I prefer "routine" because I think there's a little more flexibility in a routine. 

I like Babywise because it's got good information and it's an easy read. It just makes sense. However, I like the Baby Whisperer because her method is the same as Babywise except she gives more real life examples and it's a little more realistic to life. She emphasizes that every baby has it's own personality and temperament, and she teaches you how to tailor her method to your baby's. Also, Babywise advocates for crying it out, while Baby Whisperer does not. Personally, I think there's a time and a place for crying it out, but Babywise's approach seemed kind of vague so it stressed me out a little. 

There are plenty of critics of Babywise out there. I have heard that the very first edition of Babywise was more strict and people were turned off by it. Some people who followed Babywise back then were a little too rigid and only fed their babies at the exact time the book suggested, leading some babies to be dehydrated and malnourished. However, in the edition that I have, the authors say REPEATEDLY that if your baby is hungry, feed your baby! Even if it's only been an hour since it's last feeding. Use common sense and do what's best for your baby first, not what some book says.

Highlights from all the books that I think are the core of good sleep training:

1. Make sure baby is getting a full feeding from day 1. Keep waking him up if you have to. Time the feedings. Baby Connect can help with this.

2. Keep this routine -- Eat, Awake, Sleep. Keep baby awake as much as possible during a feeding, and have awake time after feeding. In the beginning the length of awake time will only be about the length of time the kid is awake to eat, but it will extend as baby gets older. This is super important so they don't learn to use eating as a prop to fall asleep.

3. People will say not to wake a sleeping baby. I totally disagree with this. I woke Scarlett up to eat all the time, especially in the beginning. It is super important to do in the first couple of months. If you don't wake him to eat, then his metabolism will never get on a solid routine. I also think this is important for maintaining a good milk supply. For the first 2 weeks at night, set your alarm for every 3 hours to get up and feed him. He will probably wake up on his own anyway, but if not at least you've got your alarm. After 2 weeks, you can sleep until the baby cries, but never go longer than 4-5 hours at night. At 7 weeks exactly, Scarlett slept through the night and has ever since. Babywise and Baby Whisperer will talk about the frequency of feedings and what is appropriate at certain stages of development in more detail.

I will also say this -- the first six weeks are hard when it comes to feeding and sleeping because they are growing so quickly so fast. There were times when I was feeding Scarlett every two hours and I thought I was failing at Babywise. But I powered through and then all of a sudden at six weeks it magically all came together. So even when they say "do this every three hours," it's more like every 2-3 hours and maybe even less than that, and that's ok. You have to be a little flexible with the routine in the beginning. 

Check out my other Babywise posts here and here. 

You can also read more about my love for Baby Connect here.

Thrift Shop Prom

Kelly's Korner is talking about thrift shop finds today. Most people are showing their great craft projects with thrift store finds, but this is something completely different. No upcycling involved here. It's the Thrift Shop Prom -- A Night in Altus, courtesy of Todd's squadron.

We had this fundraiser back in May. We were told to buy our clothes from the thrift store -- the less money we spent, the cheaper our ticket would be. This is code for look as gaudy as possible.

This sign was obviously a labor of love.

I couldn't decide between two dresses at Goodwill, and I think I should have picked the other one. The one I chose was this green chiffon that I wore with a black shrug. It was fine, but not the 80s look I was going for exactly. The one I wish I'd gotten was a crushed red velvet overlaid with some cheesy lace. I went back the next day to see about an exchange and it was gone. Wah wah.

We found a ridiculous jacket and shirt and tie for Todd. We were both old school in our clothing, but not quite as old school as I'd hoped for. I did curl and tease and hairspray some big bangs, a la 1990. I thought, I haven't done this in 20 years, I hope I remember how. Turns out it's like riding a bike!

Black trash bags as carpet runners greeted us at the doors. There was karaoke, which Todd participated in. He sang "America" by Neil Diamond, which if you know Todd, you know that is not anywhere near his preferred genre of music. The karaoke was part of the fundraiser, you donated money to make people sing, so that's what Todd got.

What I learned from this experience -- more people buy cheesy formal gowns from Goodwill than you would think. I went to Goodwill several days in a row and they had new merchandise almost every single day, and if I tried to find something one day that I'd seen previously, I couldn't find it. I thought other people in the squadron were buying this stuff for the prom, but I never saw anybody wearing any of it. Soooo...where is everyone going in Goodwill formals that I wasn't invited to?

My Fave Apps

Today I'm linking up with Kelly's Korner to talk about my favorite apps!

Technology is pretty much the best. I'm not a "techie" by any stretch of the imagination, but I do enjoy the latest and greatest and I have my personal IT guy who makes it happen (i.e. the husband).

It's a phone and a remote all in one!

I remember back in 2005 when I got my first Blackberry. Putting my contacts in at my computer and immediately syncing to my phone -- I was in love. I had addresses at my fingertips when I went to the post office. My calendar went with me everywhere. I thought the only thing that could make this thing more perfect was having a mirror on the back for when I needed to put on lipstick. THEN it would have everything.

My teeny tiny brain couldn't even conceive of apps in 2005 and now I pretty much live and breathe by them. My most favorite app in the entire world is the Baby Connect app. It is also my favorite "baby gear" item, because it was the one thing that made my life easier to manage after Scarlett was born. I freaked out when I realized I was going to have to track her feedings, diaper changes, and weight gain. I was already afraid of being tied down to the kid, and logging every minute of her life only added to my anxiety. I was overwhelmed and immediately knew I would be terrible at it.

Enter Baby Connect! You can time feedings, keep track of diaper changes, log milestones and activities, enter medical information, etc. It also syncs to the web-based version, which is nice for those who have time to sit at their computer for longer than five minutes. After several months of using this app around the clock, I became well-versed in its strengths and weaknesses.

Pros:

1.)    Timer – The most obvious and greatest use for Baby Connect is the feeding timer. There is a timer for bottle feeding, nursing, and pumping. It logs the length of each feeding and also reminded me which side she nursed from last. I loved it because it meant I could think less in the middle of the night.

2.)    Diaper Log – The second greatest use for Baby Connect is the diaper log. With the tap of an icon, you can log whether baby had a wet or dirty diaper. You can even keep track of stool color and consistency (totally gross, but it’s amazing the things you’ll do for love).

3.)    Graphs and Charts – I admit that I am a total nerd. Baby Connect can compile all the data you enter into neat little graphs and charts that can be viewed in a number of ways. Do you want the total number of diaper changes, or just the wet ones? Do you want to know how often baby ate at each breast, or the average number of feedings a day? It’s all there!

4.)    Syncing Two Phones – My husband changed our daughter in the middle of night and then brought her to me to nurse. It would be a pain if I had to remember to keep track of every diaper change he did, but we both installed Baby Connect and synced to the same account. He also admitted to checking in on us occasionally from work to see how the baby’s day was going and if she was eating well. Slightly creepy, but cute.

Cons:

1.)    Double Payment – I absolutely love that both mine and my husband’s phone can sync to one account. However, I did not love the fact that we both had to pay for it. Yes, it is only $4.99, but it’s still annoying.

2.)    Battery Drain – Using the timer as often as I did throughout the day sucked the life out of my battery. This is because my screen is active the entire time I feed her. I combated this problem with phone chargers in places where I regularly nursed, like next to the rocking chair in the nursery and next to the big comfy chair in the living room.

3.)    Unnecessary Features – There are some features of Baby Connect that I have no use for, such as the sleep timer. But I will say that even though some features are not useful to me, they may be useful to somebody else. And they do not get in the way of the features that I do use, so I guess it’s like they are out of sight, out of mind.

My other favorite app is Pepperplate. My sister-in-law introduced it to me and I LOVE IT. You can manage recipes, shopping lists, and menus all in one place. I was always pretty anal about my recipes and have a format that I've been putting my recipes in for years (so that they all match and my recipe binders look pretty -- I know, it's a problem). Anyway, recipe binders are so last century and I needed a digital way to stay organized, and this app does it all. I don't really love looking at recipes on my phone because the phone is too small, but I use my tablet and it's the perfect size. How many times has somebody asked you for a recipe at a party or something, and you're like, oh yeah I'll get that to you, and then you forget? With Pepperplate you can email it right then and there! I seriously love it.

The most important thing you can do is download the bookmarklet on your desktop. When you see a recipe on a website, you can click the bookmarklet to add to Pepperplate and it will take you through all the steps to do it. BONUS -- if it's a major recipe site, Pepperplate is already set up to recognize the website and download and format the recipe for you.

Yay for technology!